Wishes and Regrets – Past, Present and Future

We often use the verb 'wish' to express strong desires.  We always wish for something to be different than it is (or was) or wish for something new or different to happen in the future.  Our wishes for the present are for things that are unlikely or impossible. Our wishes for the past are always impossible, because the past cannot be changed.

Wishes about the present and future

We canot use a present tense verb with 'I wish'. Wishes for the present / future use a past tense verb or a modal verb with an infinitive. When we make a wish, we change the form of the verb that we are using from positive to negative, or vice versa. 

Example:

I am poor. I don't like this and I want to be rich. To express this as a wish we can say:
"I wish I wasn't poor." or we can change the adjective and say: "I wish I was rich."

Wishes about states

If we make a wish wish about possessions or to change a state, we use 'wish' and the original verb in a past form.
Look at the examples below:

Wishes relating to states

• I wish I was rich! (I am not rich! This is a wish relating to a present state, not an action)

• I wish I wasn't here! (I am here! A wish relating to a state, not an action)

• I wish I knew what to do! (I don't know what to do!  A wish relating to a state, not an action)

• I wish I had her phone number! (I don't have her number!  A wish about possession, not an action)

• I wish I lived in America! (I don't live there!  A wish relating to a state, not an action)

• I wish I didn't smoke. (I smoke! A wish relating to a state – being a person who smokes)

If our wishes relate to actions that are performed by other people, we use wish with 'would' and a verb infinitive.

If the wish is for an action that we wish for ourselves, we use 'could' instead of 'would'.

If we wish for opportunity, ability, capability or permission, we use 'could' and a verb infinitive.

Typical wishes – relating to actions

• I wish he would stop talking!            (He never stops talking! A wish relating to an action)

• I wish it would stop raining!                (It is raining and it won't stop!)

• I wish he wouldn't leave his clothes on the floor!    (He does leave his clothes on the floor)

• I wish I could swim.                (I can't swim. A wish relating to ability)

• I wish I could remember her name!            (I can't remember.    A wish relating to ability)

• I wish I didn't have to go to work today.              (I must work.  A wish relating to permission/ability etc)

To talk about repeated actions which we do not like, we use 'keep + ...ing' to emphasise the repeated or continual nature of the action:

• I wish she wouldn't keep talking about her children! (She constantly talks about her children)

• I wish he wouldn't keep parking his car outside my house, it's inconsiderate. (He always does this)

• I wish she wouldn't keep shouting. I'm not deaf! (She always shouts.)    (We can also use 'always + verb infinitive' for a similar meaning:)

• I wish she wouldn't always shout. I'm not deaf.

Wishes about the past

We all make mistakes. We all have regrets. Things happen that are not perfect. We often talk about these things and wish for things to be different. When we speak about things that DID NOT happen in the past, but which we wish were true, we use this form:
         'I wish' + 'subject' + 'had' + 'verb past participle'.

Consider these ideas:

• I went to University in Oxford, but now I regret it. Cambridge is a better University.
  We can say:  "I wish I had gone to Cambridge University."

• Manchester United lost to Barcelona in the Champions League. I wanted Manchester to win.
  We can say: "I wish Manchester had beaten Barcelona."

If we wish about past possessions or past ability/capability/permission/opportunity etc, we use this form:
'I wish' with 'subject + could + have + past participle (present perfect)'.

Consider these ideas:

• I didn't go to the cinema with you because I was working. I was unable to go.
  We can say:  "I wish I could have gone to the cinema with you."

• I wanted to live in America when I was a boy, but my parents chose to live in the UK.
  We can say:  "I wish I could have lived in America." ('I wish I had lived in the USA' is also correct, but gives less information.)

Sometimes, the same wish can be expressed both ways, depending on the reasons:

For example:

• "I wish I had gone to Cambridge University."  (I decided to go to Oxford)  or
  "I wish I could have gone to Cambridge University."  (They refused to accept me, so I was unable)

• "I wish I had gone to the cinema with you last night."  (It was a mistake, which I regret.)  or
  "I wish I could have gone to the cinema with you last night."  (I was working so I was unable to go.)

When we speak about states or things that DID happen in the past, but which we wish were not true, we use this form:
'I wish' with 'subject + had + not + verb past participle (negative past perfect)'.

For example:

• I went to University in Oxford, but now I regret it. Cambridge is a better University.
  We can say: "I wish I hadn't gone to Oxford University."
  

• Manchester United lost against Barcelona in the Champions League. I wanted Manchester to win.
  We can say: "I wish Manchester hadn't lost to Barcelona."
  

• I forgot to write to her. Now she is unhappy with me.
  We can say: "I wish I hadn't forgotten to write to her."
  

• I resigned from my job, but now I am unemployed. It was a mistake.
  We can say: "I wish I hadn't resigned from my job."
  

• I was tired when I met Susan, so I didn't talk a lot. Now she thinks I'm boring.
  We can say: "I wish I hadn't been tired when I met Susan."

We do not use 'could' with this negative form.